Mine to Lose Page 17

  I haven’t seen her yet, but when I ask her staff where she is, they inform me that Lisa’s likely in her office. I walk down the hallway to find her sitting at her desk when I knock on the door. “C’mon in,” she says without looking up.

  “I just wanted to stop by and say hello before I get out there to help with setup.”

  “Well look at you! You look great. Did you do something different with your hair?” I can’t help but laugh at her assessment, especially considering I spent the better part of last night in tears.

  “You’re a terrible liar, but thank you, I needed that.” I wink as I turn to leave, but she stops me.

  “No, something’s up, but I can’t put my finger on it.” She rubs her finger along her lips in thought.

  “The only thing different since the last time you saw me is that I find myself single these days.”

  I love this girl, because she doesn’t give me the look. The one that says, poor, Emogen, the one that actually makes me want to vomit. “Well, the single life looks good on you.”

  Those words feel like a physical blow to my gut. Pangs of guilt, hurt and loss cause my stomach to roll, but I take a deep breath and try to accept her words for the compliment they were meant to be. My smile is small, but I offer what I can before making my way back to the hall to setup.

  Four cups of coffee, a nervous stomach and three hours later, every table is adorned with brown colored linens and violet napkins. The centerpieces are exactly what Jaysen showed us months ago, a credit to his talent. Small square vases are overflowing with every variety of purple flowers I know, and even some that I am unfamiliar with. The work these people have put into this is impressive, and as much as I want to see it completed, I have a job to do, and if I don’t look the part, it’ll be my head.

  I let Lisa know that I’m heading to the office to get ready, but she offers me use of her space, and I accept gratefully. I went shopping the other day, needing something to make me feel both different and special. After hours of looking, I finally chose a black satin dress with a sheer overlay that has beaded lace across the chest and arms. Slipping the dress on, I felt instantly confident, as if it had magic to make me feel better, which I know is ridiculous, but it works. In the middle of applying the finishing touches to my makeup, I hear voices outside in the hallway, so I rush to finish to make sure there are no problems.

  When I emerge, I find Trey and Lisa in conversation only for him to stop talking altogether to gape at me. I feel exposed, but I’m completely dressed and ready to start work. “Is everything okay?”

  Trey is still staring when Lisa gives his shoulder a shove. “Yeah. Yeah, fine. I was asking Lisa when you were expected.”

  “I’ve been here most of the day to oversee the setup. Have you seen it yet?”

  “Yeah, it looks great.”

  “I was just going to check it out, when I left they were still working on setting the tables,” I say over my shoulder, leaving them staring after.

  Damn! He looks gorgeous. I know that he’s an attractive man, and his confidence only makes him sexier. He is usually dressed in a button down shirt and casual slacks, but tonight, he’s dressed in a black suit with a white shirt and a thin black tie is exposed through his open jacket. He seriously looks like he just stepped out of the pages of a men’s clothing catalog. I keep walking to the main room, hoping to cool off and get my thoughts back on the work at hand, which is easy to do when I see everything in place.

  The lights are set perfectly to provide the ambiance we were going for. The tables are ready, each decorated with tea light candles surrounding the floral arrangements and all place settings have been set. There is a small dance floor, although I doubt anyone will be dancing. Trey figured with an open bar, people might get crazy enough to head that way, so we asked Lisa to set one out anyway. The photographer must have arrived while I was getting ready because he has his camera placed to the left of the entrance, exactly where I wanted him. He spots me eyeing everything and mistakes me for a guest. “Would you like your picture taken?”

  “Oh no.” I shake my head and laugh. “I’m working this evening.”

  “Yes.” I hear Trey’s voice behind me. “She’ll take one with me.”

  “Trey,” I drag out in warning. “I need check in with my staff.”

  “I’m sure you have five seconds to take a picture with your friend,” he reminds me, to which I roll my eyes and sigh in defeat.

  The photographer poses us in a close embrace, which doesn’t feel terribly uncomfortable. We are so close that I can smell his cologne that smells of musk mixed with something else I can’t quite place. I fight closing my eyes to inhale because it’s too perfect. I finally relax, allowing a smile to appear when he turns his mouth to my ear, causing me to take a sharp intake of air when he whispers, “You look beautiful.”

  My throat goes dry and my head spins from his words. This is not good. I have a job to do, and I need to stay focused. The photographer calls for our attention and we smile in unison before I politely thank Trey and excuse myself. Before I can rush off, his arm that is around my waist squeezes just slightly prodding me to look at him. He looks concerned, but I assure him that I’m okay.

  “Well, since you can’t be my date tonight, may I at least give you a ride home?”

  “I have my car, but thanks for the offer,” I reply. I step away from him because I need space from the things he’s doing to my senses, but the disappointment is evident on his face. His hands are tucked in his pockets and he seems to be mulling over my response.

  I start to walk away but look back once more. “Trey?” I wait until his eyes meet mine before finishing. “You look beautiful, too.”

  I rush off before I say anything else, leaving him standing openmouthed.

  * * *

  Elle certainly gave me the best of the bunch for the evening. They made sure that everything went according to my timeline and helped ensure that things flowed smoothly. Before dinner was served, Trey took a moment to thank his clients for attending and remarked that he hoped those who are not yet familiar with his work would be intrigued by the end of the night. I overheard several guests commenting on how great the room looked and raving about the food. There was no doubt, Trey was right in asking for a dance floor; as the night progressed and drinks were poured, the stuffy crowd let their guard down and started dancing like no one was watching. I couldn’t help but laugh at the moves a few put on display. But when the music would slow, I would make myself scarce because the melancholy tunes would inevitably make me sad.

  As guests were leaving, two impeccably dressed women approached me, inquiring about my name and wanting a business card, and I was only too happy to oblige. I gave them as much information as I could in the short time I had with them, but I knew that Elle would be pleased.

  Returning to the main hall there are a few stragglers that remain and I stand there assessing how long the take down will last when I hear someone clearing their throat. I have to admit I’m not the least bit surprised to find Trey with his tie off and top button undone, appearing very pleased.

  “So how do you think it went?” I ask him, even though I already know the answer.

  He looks past me, at the almost empty room and looks deep in thought. He shrugs his shoulders seeming suddenly unimpressed. “It was okay.” I give him a playful shove and he laughs. “I’m kidding. Damn. So sensitive.”

  I open my mouth to respond, but he grabs my hand before the words come out. “C’mon. You owe me a dance.”

  “Trey, I’m working,” I complain while he tugs me along behind him anyway.

  “Fine, then you’re fired. Now dance with me,” he demands with a mischievous grin.

  “You can’t fire me, I don’t work for you,” I remind him.

  “See, you can dance with me then,” he declares, proud that he tricked me. “Just one song.”

  “Do I have to?” I whine pointing to my feet. “I’m dying here, these shoes are killing me.”r />
  He bends down and reaches for my foot, causing me to grab hold of his shoulders for balance. He makes quick work of slipping my heels off before I can protest and stands up with a pleased grin. “Problem solved.”

  Deciding there’s no way to talk him out of it, I let him lead me to the dance floor while a song I recognizes plays in the distance. “I love this song,” I tell him, as he pulls me into his arms.

  “I’ve never heard it. Who is it?” He has my hand, wrapped in his, and held close to his heart, his other on the small of my back. It’s so easy to get lost in his arms, but I do my best to keep my head on straight.

  “It’s the Avett Brothers,” I tell him, fighting the urge to close my eyes and disappear in the moment.

  We move together easily in small movements, and he’s careful not to step on my bare feet. My short stature is assisted with the four inch heels that I’m wearing, but now my head rests right at his chest, a little too intimate for my liking. I pull my head away to gain some space and look at the mess that is waiting for me. I can feel his eyes on me and I am timid when I finally make eye contact.

  “Thanks for everything you did tonight.” He smiles with appreciation.

  I hate compliments, and tend to make jokes, why should now be different. “I was just doing my job.”

  “Well,” he starts quietly, “you did great.”

  “Thanks,” I respond with a smile, admiring his obvious good looks.

  “If it’s too soon, just let me know. Okay? But now that I’m no longer your client, and you are single, how ‘bout letting me take you out?”

  “Trey-”

  “Just a date, Em. Let me take you out tomorrow night and treat you to a fun time.”

  I close my eyes and remember everything that happened last night. Ryan and I are done. He’s the one who ended it, and even though I know there is still something between us, because I felt it, it’s over. When I open my eyes, Trey is waiting for my answer with a lopsided grin. I have no reason not to give it a shot. There is something between us, there has been for a while, even when I tried to deny it. Ryan and I are over, his choice, not mine, and I suppose it’s time for me to move on.

  “Alright. Sounds great.”

  Before I can register the movement, he kisses me and tightens his hold on me while we finish the dance. The gesture feels familiar; as though it’s something he’s done to me for years. It feels intrusive and comfortable at the same time, and once again, my head is spinning.

  CHAPTER 23

  Last night was exhilarating, the hustle and bustle of running an event all on my own was only surpassed by the accolades I received on my voicemail a few minutes ago. I slept in until nine this morning; I don’t know when the last time that happened. I guess I was so exhausted from everything that had happened over the last two days, my body just wanted rest. I got in late enough that I was able to avoid Joss and go straight to bed. When I peeked out to see if she was up this morning, I noticed that her keys were gone, so she must have slipped out while I was still sleeping. I’m not ready to deal with her and her attempt to reconcile Ryan and me, yet. I didn’t even give her time to explain why he was waiting around to talk to me.

  The loud grumbling of my stomach reminds me that I haven’t eaten since before I got to Ivy Glen yesterday, so I make my way to the kitchen to get some cereal and coffee. While waiting for the coffee to finish brewing, I look at Joss’ calendar that is plastered to the fridge and eye what she’s got going on. I can’t help but laugh at her star on Thursday, the mark that shows her period, it explains so much. Mid laugh, I stop abruptly and run to my bedroom to pull up my own calendar on my cell. I mark it every month.

  When was my last period?

  I start shuffling through the month on my calendar and realize I’m late.

  “Shit!” I yell, just as I hear the front door open and shut.

  “What’s going on?” Joss asks, walking over to my room.

  “Nothing.” I shake my head dismissing her. “I’ve just got someplace I need to be.” I pull on my yoga pants and a t-shirt, not even bothering to wash my face or brush my teeth because I have one thought in mind. Get to the store. Joss is watching me scramble around the apartment like a crazy person, and keeps trying to ask if I need help, even apologizing for the other night; I don’t listen. I shove my boots on and throw on my coat before grabbing my keys and my purse. I hurry out of the apartment leaving my best friend home alone and stunned.

  One of the perks of living in Joss’ area of town is that there is a convenience store within walking distance. The December air is cold, and under any other circumstances, I’d probably be freezing my ass off, but right now, I’m so hopped up on adrenaline that I’m almost sweating as I hurry down the street. When I walk through the door, the cashier looks at me as though he’s scared of me.

  “Pregnancy test?”

  “Second aisle toward the back,” he says to my back as I head in that direction. I locate the box and get queasy at the thought of being pregnant and realize I can’t go home with a test in hand for Joss to see. We’re doing this Juno-style, I tell myself, locating a restroom in the back of the store. I’m sure the poor fella up front isn’t thrilled, but if this turns out the way I think, I’ll be buying more than a test before I walk out of here.

  I rip open the box and read the instructions before sitting on the toilet. When women do this on television, it’s much funnier, because all I can manage to do is piss on my hand while trying to get the stick in the stream for five seconds. This isn’t rocket science, but I’m making a mess of it. I grab a square of toilet paper and set the test on top of it on the sink while I pull my pants up. Three minutes is all it will take for me to know if what I think is true. Three minutes, and I’m going to have to figure out how to tell my ex-fiancé that I’m pregnant with his kid. Three minutes is a long-ass time to wash your hands, look at your haggard reflection and think about how much everything is going to change when time’s up.

  I chance a look and see one line and exhale a huge sigh of relief. “I’m not pregnant,” I whisper aloud, relieved. I pick up the stick to throw it in the trash when I see the faintest of a second line start to darken.

  What?

  I grab the instructions back out and look at the picture that reads, “Pregnant=Two lines.”

  Different things jump out at me, starting to make sense. Lisa commenting on how I look different; she never said glowing, but she was going on and on about it. My food poisoning incident from last week, maybe it was just morning sickness. I’ve felt queasy a few times, but I just chalked it up to nerves about last night; never in a million years would I guess I’m pregnant.

  Holy Shit. “I’m pregnant,” I admit to my reflection, fighting my emotions.

  When I finally emerge from the bathroom, the cashier is doing his best to avoid eye contact because I’m pretty sure he knows what I was doing. I grab some junk food and soda, along with the empty box and drop it on the counter in front of him and he doesn’t say a word about my disappearance in the back.

  “Nineteen oh five,” he says when he finishes ringing everything up. I hand him my credit card and try to keep from crying as I sign the receipt.

  There’s no rush to get back to the apartment, but the slow walk is painful and cold. A million thoughts run through my head. Why did this have to happen? What am I going to tell Ryan? Will he want to be in the baby’s life? Do I even want a baby? I don’t want Ryan to be with me because we have a kid together. The tears are making their way down my face, and I wipe my runny nose on my sleeve like I used to when I was a kid. My first instinct is to call Langley, but when I reach for my phone from my purse, I remember that I dropped it on my bed in a hurry when I was looking at the calendar.

  The walk home feels like hours, but I look up from my dazed state, standing in front of my building. When I get to the door, I start to put my key in the hole when the door flies open.

  “Will you please talk to me and tell me what’s going on?”
Joss demands with a worried look.

  “Joss, I’m fine. I’m really tired and just want to go back to bed.”

  “Why did you run out of here in such a hurry?”

  I’m not ready to tell her about the pregnancy yet, so I do what’s become natural as of late; I lie. “I thought I forgot some things from work at Ivy Glen, but someone else got it.” Apparently my lying has gotten better because she doesn’t bat an eye when the words come out of my mouth.

  “Can we talk about the other night?” she asks, following me to the couch.

  “I’d rather not right now. I have a lot on my mind.”

  “Well, can we at least hang out tonight?”

  Crap.

  “Um, actually I have plans,” I admit, not looking her in the eyes. In the middle of all this, I completely forgot about tonight. She watches, waiting for me to offer more so I throw myself against the back of the coach and groan, “I have a date with Trey, alright? I’d appreciate you keeping your mouth shut about it.”

  I can tell Joss is disappointed, hell, if she were excited about it, she’d be trying to dress me now. Instead, she leans back and exhales, fighting against saying something that she shouldn’t. There’s nothing to say really, because tonight will be my first and last date with Trey.

  “Look,” she finally says when she turns to face me, “I know you’re pissed at me and you have every right to be-”

  “Well, thank you for your permission,” I respond humorlessly.

  “That’s not what I mean, all I’m going to say is that I did what I did, because I really thought all you two needed was to talk.”

  “I love you, but you need to back the hell off. Okay? Whatever is going on between Ryan and me, or rather not going on, is none of your business. I mean it. Can you just leave it alone now?”

  “Yeah. Alright. I’ll leave it alone. I’m gonna say one more thing, and you might get pissed, but whatever.”

  “Fine, hurry and say it before I stop speaking to you again.”