Mine to Lose Read online

  “If you’d like, you can send over a list, and then we can discuss them when you return,” I offer, more for myself than for him.

  “Em, please, I really would like to discuss this in person, if that’s okay with you.” It’s not an invitation, but a request that is rushed. I feel like there is something distracting him, but I can’t decline, even though I would like to.

  I remain quiet, no doubt too long, and I can tell by his frustrated sigh that there’s something he’s not saying. Part of me is dying to know what’s going on, and the other part feels like I’m walking into a trap that has nothing to do with work.

  There is an obnoxious thump on his end of the phone that snaps me out of my trance and he clears his throat. “Emogen, are you still there?”

  He can’t see me, but I conduct a frantic search through my work calendar, trying to find any last minute reason that I can’t go. Truth is, I don’t have a good excuse why I can’t and that leaves me feeling defeated. “Yes, sir. I can meet you at Chops at noon, will that work?”

  “That’s fine, I can pick you up on my way,” he interjects.

  “No,” I answer, eager to get off that track. “That’s okay, I have some clients to meet with this morning, so I’ll meet you there when I’m done.” If nothing else, I’ll just help Cam out with whatever she’s got going on since I’m undoubtedly free.

  He’s silent for a moment and offers a clipped goodbye. I can almost see the words flying from his tightly pressed lips and I know he doesn’t like my plan to meet him there. The whole conversation leaves me dreading noon.

  * * *

  I arrive to the restaurant early to get settled and wait for Trey to show up. I go through a mental list of what changes he may want to make, or wonder if he wants someone else to handle his event. As much as I hate the idea of losing my first client, the thought does leave me feeling a bit lighter. I check my phone and scroll through emails, and when I look up, he’s walking past the hostess desk, nodding to people as he passes. His confidence is evident, but his smile isn’t until he spots me in a booth near the back. I keep my smile neutral.

  “Thank you for meeting me,” he says, taking a seat and reaching for his menu. He orders an iced tea and waits for the waitress to walk away before continuing. “First, I want to apologize for the other night.”

  “What about it?” I feign confusion at the mention of Saturday evening.

  Trey’s brow furrows, trying to gauge my question, but he presses on. “I didn’t mean to put you on the spot.”

  I can’t help but laugh at his arrogance. “You didn’t.”

  Shock registers on his face at my words, but he gives it right back. “Clearly, because Ryan look thrilled to meet me.”

  “Mr. Miller?” I ask, giving him a pointed stare, prompting a raised brow from him at my use of his formal title. “You said you wanted to discuss some changes to your event, which is in less than three months.” I pull out my pen and notepad to make sure I have everything covered. “What’s first?”

  His hand reaches for mine and I flinch, pulling away. “If you don’t mind, I’d like to be able to write this down.”

  “I was just going to move your glass,” he states with a calm voice, pointing to my paper that I didn’t notice was absorbing the condensation from my glass. I feel my cheeks flame when he leans back in his chair, his eyes fixed on me, obviously entertained by my reaction to his innocent gesture. “The truth is, there are no changes; I wanted to speak with you in person.”

  Mr. Miller is a client, I repeat in my head over and over, until that isn’t enough.

  “Excuse me?” My voice rises to an annoying level. “Are you serious? This is completely inappropriate, Mr. Miller, so if that’s all then I need to get back to work.”

  I begin to leave my seat, when he reaches out again, but as soon as my eyes grow wide, he drops his hand and his voice. “Please, just give me a second to explain.”

  Of all the awkward situations to be put in, this one has to be the worst. Trey is harmless, so I’m not worried about my safety. But I don’t take kindly to someone taking advantage of their position. Then again, this is a client, and to walk away could cause problems for me with Elle. I ease myself back into the chair before responding. “Please make this fast.”

  “I had no intention of showing up at Wired Spirits the other night. I was on a date with Vivien, and I just needed a change; the night was dragging,” he explains. “When she started complaining that she was bored, I remembered you mentioning that you might be there, so we headed that way.”

  “You wanted to run into me? I don’t get it. Why would you do that?”

  “I think you know the answer to that,” he says, watching me as though he can read my every thought.

  “Okay.” Adrenaline is coursing through my veins, and my embarrassment is leaving me flustered. “I need to get back to work.”

  “This is why I asked you to meet me. Look, Em, I don’t make it a habit of going after unavailable women, and you are clearly unavailable. From what I can tell, your fiancé is a good guy, but I’m attracted to you. I was ready to turn this entire event over to you to plan, but in all honesty, I enjoyed being with you that first day and the more time I spend with you, the more I think about you. I went the other night, because I wanted to run into you. Does that make me a jerk? Maybe. But it’s the truth.”

  Thump.

  Thump.

  Thump.

  All I can hear is the blood rushing through my ears, and all I can feel is my skin on fire. I reach for my glass and take a gulp of the ice cold water, trying to buy myself some time before I answer, because how do you respond to something like that. It wasn’t a declaration of love or anything, but hell if it didn’t just throw my world off balance. I set my glass down and clasp my hands together in my lap to steady my nerves.

  “How, exactly, do you expect me to respond to that? As you’ve mentioned, I am unavailable and very much in love with Ryan. Aside from that, you are my client.”

  He shrugs his shoulders, with what I believe to be defeat, but his voice is assertive. “We’re both adults here, alright? I figured it was best to address this and move on.”

  “Congratulations,” I say in a calm tone, staring him down. “You have successfully unburdened yourself and have now placed me in the awkward position.”

  He returns my stare a sly smile appearing at my objection to his words. “Em, there’s nothing to feel awkward about; I’m just stating something we’re both already aware of.”

  “Whatever idea you have of me in your thoughts has got to be a far better version than the actual. You don’t even know me, Trey.”

  “What I do know,” he interjects, “is that you are an amazing woman and a friend. A really attractive, taken friend that I’m glad to know.”

  “Trey-”

  “Friends, Emogen. I swear, that’s all I would like from you,” he says with conviction; and I believe him. “Well, that and to plan the best corporate event.”

  “No pressure there,” I answer through gritted teeth.

  “Which part? Friends or the event?”

  “I’ll let you know.”

  CHAPTER 16

  What do you do when your client tells you he has feelings for you? The same client that you interact with every day and invades your dreams at night. Well, if your name is Emogen Kane, you go home, eat a gallon of ice cream, get no sleep, go to work the next day and hope you hear nothing from him. Then, you call your big sister and hope she can calm your ass down. I could go to Joss, but she already thinks something is up with Trey. Langley always knows the best way to handle things.

  I pull her number up in my phone and wait for the call to go through. As soon as she answers the phone, my voice rushes out, sounding urgent, “Lang, you got a sec?”

  “Hey Emmy! Omigosh, I was just about to call you- I have some exciting news,” she spills out before I can share my latest drama.

  “Oh really? What's going on?”

 
“Reid asked me to marry him!” She screams so loud that I have to pull the phone away from my ear.

  “Are you serious?” I have to ask, because it’s not out of the realm of possibility for her to play a joke on me.

  “Yes!”

  “What? How? I mean…” I’m at a loss. “I had no idea you two were serious, I mean, you’ve been dating, what, two months?”

  “And?” she retorts, hurt. “When you know, you know.”

  I’m an asshole; my sister shares her good news with me, and I’m raining on her parade. “That’s amazing, Lang! I’m so happy for you. How did he do it? Does mom know? Do you have a date set, yet?” I rapid-fire the questions, hoping I sound as excited as she is.

  “It wasn't as romantic as your proposal, but I loved it,” she prefaces. Ryan’s proposal was amazing and over the top; I’m not sure anyone could one-up it. “Last night, he took me to the restaurant where we had our first date, it wasn’t anything out of the ordinary. He kept talking about the future, and I knew we had one, just not so soon. Anyway, after dinner we went to this courtyard and there were benches everywhere, so we sat down. We were talking and he said, ‘this is the place where I saw you the first time, and I knew I had to meet you.’ And then he dropped down on one knee, had a box in his hand, and he said, ‘I know it seems sudden, but I need you in my life, forever. So, Langley, will you please marry me?’ And I started screaming. I think people thought something bad was happening to me, because they came rushing over. But when they saw him on his knee with the ring, they started laughing and clapping. And I mean, of course I said yes.”

  Stunned into silence by her story, tears are burning my eyes, but I have the biggest smile plastered on my face. I wish I were there with her to hug her and celebrate, but I’m here.

  “You still there?”

  “Langley,” I finally manage to croak through my constricting throat, “that’s beautiful. Congratulations, sis.”

  “Thank you. And yes, mom knows, I just got off the phone with her when you called.”

  “What did she say?”

  “Well, you know mom and marriage, she didn’t seem thrilled. But she congratulated me. I’m getting a little worried about her. She’s been drinking more lately and this Scott guy that she’s seeing is an asshole. She seems to be morphing into someone I don’t really know anymore. At least she was happy for you when you got engaged. She’s met Reid, and I guess she likes him. She’s just a little strange.”

  “I’m sorry, and then you tell me, and I’m no better. You’re right, when you know you have to go with it, and Reid sounds like a great guy, I can’t wait to meet him. Speaking of, when are you guys coming out to visit?”

  “Well, I know you just had Ryan there, so I thought maybe you’d like some company next weekend? We could drive out Thursday after work. It would be really late, but at least we’d have Friday and Saturday there. Whatcha think?”

  “Seven hours is a long drive, are you sure you’re up for that?”

  “Absolutely!”

  “Then I can’t wait,” I tell her, happy that she’s finally going to come see me.

  “So wait, why were you calling me?”

  I am not an asshole. I’m not going to lay this on her.

  “It was nothing,” I lie, not wanting for one second to take away from what is a wonderful day for my deserving sister.

  We hang up and I bask in the awesomeness of her news. Langley Jennifer Kane is getting married. I never thought I’d see the day. She used to say she never wanted to get married, not after dad split when we were kids. It's a wonder either of us are in relationships, period, because mom instilled in us that men are ultimately single-minded, selfish creatures who will screw you over the second something better comes along.

  Trey

  His name floods my head again, and I decide to talk the next best thing to my sister, Joss.

  Me: I need you to come over, no questions asked, just meet me at my place.

  Joss: What?

  Me: No Questions. Get. Over. Here.

  Joss: Fine

  That’s the good thing about best friends; they really aren’t in a position to argue, especially Joss. That’s what she signed up for when she moved out here to be near me, and that's what she gets for being my best friend. We have had our girl’s nights out, and nights in. We’ve laughed our asses off when one of us does something stupid and held each other when our worlds fell apart. I’m not sure what this situation falls under, but I’m pretty sure this is a girl’s night in, where I vent, she listens, pretends that I’m making the right decisions, then snaps me back into reality.

  I need reality.

  There’s a knock at my door, followed by her less than chipper voice. “Open the door, Emogen.”

  “One second,” I yell, unlocking the deadbolt, followed by the chain.

  She barely looks at me as she shoves past. “This better be good, because I had a date.”

  “Shit!” I slam the door shut and walk over to the back of the couch where she is glaring at me, “I’m sorry, I had no idea. Do I know him?”

  “Well, I could have had a date, but you blew that one up.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “What do you think? I was going to pick up some random guy tonight and ‘date,’ him for the evening,” she says, turning to stare me down.

  My jaw drops open, shocked at her revelation, “You were not!”

  “No,” she pouts, “but I could have. So what’s the emergency?”

  I shove her aside and take a seat on the couch, wondering if she would really do it. “You’re such a bitch sometimes, you know that?”

  Her face contorts to shock as she throws herself to sit on the other end of the couch. “Excuse me? I’m a bitch all the time.”

  I laugh, because it's expected, but it’s not genuine. Now I have to tell her the reason I needed to see her so urgently.

  “Something happened today.” And for whatever reason, guilt fills my heart.

  Her posture rights and she looks concerned. “Is everything okay?”

  “I don't know. My head is all over the place. First off, Langley's getting married. But I just found that out. Second, it's about Trey.”

  “What about Mr. Intrusive?”

  “Huh,” I scoff, “funny you would call him that. I met him for lunch yesterday to talk about some changes he wanted to make. But the thing is-”

  “There were no changes,” she finishes for me. “What’s the deal with this guy, Em?”

  Here it comes. I fidget with the tassel on the corner of the pillow I’m holding, before looking her in the eyes. “He’s ‘attracted’ to me,” I cringe, repeating his words from yesterday with air quotes.

  “He’s what? Did he tell you that?” she asks, appalled.

  “Yeah, he knows I’m with Ryan, he just thought it best to own up to it, I guess.”

  “What an asshole!”

  “Yeah,” I say half-heartedly.

  On the one hand, I’m flattered that Trey told me what he did, but I feel like I’m not being true to Ryan. Ryan is the man I’m going to marry, and I love him with all my heart, so why is the unsolicited attention from Trey wreaking havoc on my head?

  “Unless? He’s not an asshole? What’s going on? What are you not telling me?”

  “Fuck, me!” I wail at the ceiling. I compose myself and finally look at Joss. “I’ve been having these dreams about him. Lang says it’s because Ryan’s been gone and I’ve had to spend so much time with Trey for work, that it’s normal. But it’s not. It doesn’t feel normal.”

  She stares at me a little too long and I know what’s coming. “Do you have feelings for him, too?”

  This is the question I have tried to avoid completely, even with myself. Do I have feelings for Trey?

  “Do I find him attractive? Yes. Do I enjoy working with him? Yeah, he makes me laugh. But do I have feelings for him? No.”

  The moment the words come out, I know it’s a lie. Of course I have fee
lings for him, otherwise I wouldn’t have been the slightest bit jealous that he had a date with him the other night and I wouldn’t be trying to figure things out. My heart rate wouldn’t sound in my ears when he compliments me.

  Oh shit! I have a crush on Trey Miller.

  “So what are you gonna do?” Joss asks, when she sees the look on my face.

  “Nothing,” I protest. “There is nothing I need to do. I’m in love with Ryan. We’re getting married and that’s it.”

  She looks at me and leans over to grab my hand before speaking. “Just because you have feelings for this guy, doesn’t mean you don’t love Ryan. But you better sort your feelings out before you do anything you might regret.”

  “I would never cheat on Ryan,” I argue, wounded she would suggest anything of the sort.

  “That’s not what I’m talking about,” she says, giving me a knowing look.

  * * *

  After our lunch, I do my best to avoid Trey as much as possible over the next week and a half, even going so far as to communicate only through Hattie. The first week is easy; he was out of town. But the Hattie-solution proved fruitless, because she’s a few cards short of a deck. Every time I email her, she would email him to ask how to respond but keep me on the correspondence. At first, I thought it was funny, but every message is handled in this way, so finally Trey sends an email to only me, asking that I just send all questions to him. Now, when my inbox alerts me to a new message from him, I feel giddy. Not what I was going for.

  Since he was out of town this week, I have found it much easier to think without the constant phone calls or meetings with him. Unfortunately, he will return by Friday and is already requesting two meetings for next week to select the caterer. He provides me with a list of items he would prefer for the dinner, so I narrow the companies down based on the ones I feel are the best option.

  I visit with Lisa a few times, and even though she is giving us carte blanch, no doubt because she has a thing for hot younger guys, I still make sure to run things by her. Best decision I made, because Ivy Glen has certain “rules” about which vendors they let bring things in. When I mention we are using Everette’s Catering for the evening, she seems less than thrilled with the choice. When I press for answers, she eyes me, prompting my hand to fly up to swear that I won’t repeat anything.