Mine to Lose Read online

  “They overcharge by twenty percent,” she admits in a hushed tone.

  I am compelled to share this information with Trey. As my client, he needs to know the reason I feel we need to pass on the contract with Everette. He is happy to have the information, but again, insists we meet to go over the other choices once more before making a final decision.

  “Can you meet on Friday?” he asks. “I get back in town late afternoon.”

  “I can’t. I have other obligations,” I admit, referring to Lang’s visit. “Will Monday be okay?”

  “Twenty minutes, thirty, tops. I just want to go over them one more time.”

  “I’m having dinner with my sister at six, so you can meet me at the office before then. Will that work?”

  “I’ll see you then,” he answers, before hanging up.

  CHAPTER 17

  “How was your visit with Lang and Reid? What did ya think of him?”

  I haven’t talked to Ryan since the middle of the week. When he has free time, I’m swamped. When I have a moment, I can’t get him to answer the phone. We’ve exchanged a few ‘I love you’ texts here and there, but I have no idea what’s going on in his life or work. In the two weeks since I’ve seen him, it feels like so much has changed.

  “I really liked him, Ryan. I think you would, too.”

  “Have they set a date, yet?”

  “Um, yeah, that's the thing, they’re looking to do it in February.”

  “What’s the rush?”

  I roll my eyes, because I know he’s asking if it’s a shotgun wedding, which it’s not. I mean, why wait? He and I have been engaged for almost a year and our wedding is still over ten months away. With all the planning that still needs to be done all we have to show for it is a lot of frustration.

  “She’s not pregnant,” I finally tell him. “They just want to get married. They’re doing something at my aunt’s house.”

  “Aunt Gertie is letting her do it in that house?”

  “It has charm, and it really suits those two, trust me. I just spent the whole weekend with them, and Aunt Gertie’s place is perfect,” I inform him.

  The house is a large ranch house nestled on the back acre of her four-acre property. It’s old and needs too many repairs to list, but my aunt is set in her ways and insists there is nothing wrong with it. She and my mom grew up in the house, and when my grandmother passed away last year, Gertie kept it. Langley always said she wanted to get married outside in the summer; it’s obvious she's foregoing that idea to do it sooner.

  “Did she ask you to be maid of honor?”

  “No, but she will,” I answer confidently.

  “So, what did y’all do while they were there?”

  Loaded question.

  How do you tell your fiancé that your client met you at your office, as planned, but the meeting lasted longer than you expected? So your sister and the guy she’s engaged to show up to get you and end up meeting said client. Oh yeah, and the client hit it off with Reid, and ended up joining us for dinner?

  You downplay it.

  “I had to meet with Mr. Miller Friday afternoon, but it didn’t last too long. So I went to dinner with Reid and Lang and then showed them around the town on Saturday, since neither one has been here before. They said they want to come out next summer and try white water rafting.”

  “Sounds like y’all had a good time. I'm sorry I wasn't there.”

  “Me, too.”

  It seems like this is how more of our conversations go these days. One of us misses something and apologizes, and the other ignores it as no big deal. But it is a big deal. The talks are becoming shorter and shorter until it feels like there is nothing left to talk about.

  “What are you thinking about?”

  “What?” I ask, stunned out of my inner thoughts.

  “You got quiet.” His tone is hushed. “You always get really quiet when something is bothering you.”

  “Nothing,” I lie, which seems to become easier for me every time I do it.

  “I know you're lying.” I can hear his crooked smile through the phone.

  “I’m thinking things feel off with us, Ryan. Do you feel that way? I mean, we barely talk, and when we do, it seems like we have a hard time connecting.”

  “Yeah, I’ve noticed that, too. It’s definitely easier when we’re in the same place.”

  I exhale a breath before saying my next thought; “It scares me, Ryan.”

  He’s quiet while he takes it in. Ryan is a thinker, not a reactor, so I know he’s trying to make sure his next words are organized. “How did you feel when I was there?”

  “I loved you being home. It felt right. Complete.”

  “So we just need to make sure we make the most of our time together when we have it, right?”

  “Yeah, but-”

  “No, ‘buts’ okay? Do you still want this?”

  Shocked by his question, I answer with all of my heart. “Of course I do.”

  “Then it’s just going to be hard for a while. But we can do it, right?” I hear doubt when he voices the question and it rattles me. He’s my rock, and his doubt is pounding in my ears.

  “Yes,” I whisper.

  * * *

  Elle decides to have a staff meeting first thing this morning. In the time I’ve worked here, we have never had one, although it’s my understanding it’s something that used to take place once a week. The rumor is that she wants to start doing them again so the entire team is aware of what’s going on.

  “So, we’ve covered the weddings, and everyone knows what they need to do. Emogen, how is everything coming on the T.M. event?”

  “We have secured the location, florist, caterer, and by the end of the week, we will have the entertainment lined up.”

  “What about the photographer?”

  “He said that he doesn't want one, but I have told him that this would be a great thank you gift to his guests when it's over.”

  “Have the invitations been mailed?”

  “We should get those out next week, he has a few more names to add.”

  “Great. So how many do you need for the night of?”

  “I think we might just need two or three more, aside from myself?”

  “Okay, I’ll check the schedule and see who’s available that night.” She starts thumbing through her calendar and looks up at me again. “Why isn’t it on the schedule?”

  I rifle through my file, trying to find something to back me, but everything I have is in paper form. I thought I added it to the company calendar, but if she’s not seeing it, then I have royally screwed up.

  “Can you give me a second?” I ask, pushing my chair back.

  “Wait…” She throws her hand up to halt my departure. “Is this it on December sixth, under TME?”

  I lower myself back into my chair, relieved that it’s there. “Yes, that's it.”

  “Alright.” She starts writing something down. “Emogen, let’s meet next week, after you’ve taken care of these items, to catch up and make sure things are on track. We’re about nine weeks out, and this is when things will start getting a little haywire.”

  Once she dismisses the team, I head to my desk to see where things stand for the rest of the event. The photographer has been the toughest thing to sell him; he just doesn’t see the need. But I keep reminding him that the women will love it, and that’s what matters. I have a few in mind that I think he would like, so that’s why I am meeting with him today.

  Trey Miller

  October 4, 2013 10:34 AM

  To: Kane, Emogen

  Subject: Photographer

  I still don't think we need this for the party. I've talked to several people that think it's not worth it. I'm still on the fence. You’ll have to convince me.

  Trey

  T.M. Enterprises

  Men are the last ones to appreciate the value of photography, assuming disposable cameras are the way to go. But being in this business, I know if you make the women
happy, their partner will never hear the end of it.

  Emogen Kane

  October 4, 2013 10:42 AM

  To: Miller, Trey

  Re: Photographer

  Would these “people” be men?

  Emogen

  Event Planner

  Elle E. Grant Events

  My cell phone buzzes and I assume that it’s Ryan, until I see Trey’s name with a text:

  Trey: Guys don’t like pictures

  Me: Your point?

  Trey: Unnecessary expense

  Before I can respond, Elle comes by my desk. “Emogen, I wanted to talk to you for a second. Do you have time?”

  “Yes, do we need to go to your office?”

  “That’s not necessary. I just wanted to get your opinion. Do you think you would be able to take on another event? I have one that is smaller than the TM one, but the budget is higher. I think you can handle it, but I know you are still taking care of this one, and I don’t know how you feel about another, especially on the heels of it being you first client to handle alone.”

  Elle thinks I can handle it. She wouldn’t be checking with me if she didn’t have confidence in my abilities. Knowing that she wants to give me more gives way to a beaming smile. “Absolutely. And thank you.”

  “You’ve done great so far, and I appreciate all of your hard work. Mr. Miller has nothing but great things to say about everything you've done to this point.”

  She turns to leave and looks back over her shoulder, and her no nonsense tone catches me. “Keep it up.”

  I’m not sure how long I sit there, but Cam’s voice breaks through my shock. “Congratulations, Em!”

  “Did you hear that?”

  “Uh, yeah,” she says, giving me a strange look. “Why do you think I said congratulations?”

  “I can’t believe she’s giving me more. I can't wait to tell Ryan.”

  “What time is your meeting with Miller?”

  I glance at my watch, and start to grab my purse and files. I haven’t seen him since he intruded on my dinner with Reid and Langley, and I have a few words for him about that, as well.

  “I have to leave now if I want to beat the lunch rush,” I say as I pass her. “Plans with Dean tonight?” She doesn’t answer, so I know she does.

  During the drive to the restaurant, I have a one-sided conversation with a fake Trey. The version in my head is contrite and quiet, only promising that it will never happen again. But the real Trey is not as easy to talk to. I pull into the parking lot and groan, because it’s packed which means we’ll be lucky to get a table. When I walk up, he’s near the hostess stand, nodding and saying something. He spots me and waves me over. “Great timing, they just called my name.”

  The hostess ushers us to follow her, and Trey steps aside to let me pass, his hand briefly touching the small of my back. I don’t know if it’s him, or the fact that I haven’t been with Ryan in weeks, but my body reacts in a way that leaves me unsettled. I want more.

  We get to a table and I shake the thought from my head before I set my bags on the empty chair. I take a deep breath and compose myself, waiting to have his attention.

  “That can’t happen again, understand?”

  “What can't happen?”

  “You, being in my personal life. If I have to, I will refer to you as Mr. Miller, just so we are clear. Do I need to do that, Trey?”

  “Em, it’s not a big deal,” he says easily. “You and I are friends, and I had dinner with you and your family.”

  “No, no that’s not it. I'm lying to Ryan and I don't like it.”

  “I never told you to lie.”

  “That’s not my point.” I begin to explain, irritated that he’s challenging me.

  “Well, what is then?”

  “Trey, you are a friend, but if it were the other way around, if Ryan had someone attractive that he was spending time with, I would be a jealous mess. And if I didn’t know about it, it would hurt even worse.”

  “Attractive, huh?”

  “Trey-”

  “So tell him then. I’ve already told you, I have no intention of doing anything at all. And actually, being around you so much, you’re starting to get on my nerves,” he says making a face. “Kinda like your friend’s little sister that won’t go away.”

  “Shut up,” I laugh, grateful he’s trying.

  “But in all honesty, you shouldn’t keep anything from him. You are taken, and I respect that.”

  “Thanks.”

  “Aren’t you supposed to go see him next weekend?”

  “Yeah, but he’s got a huge project, so I might have to wait a few weeks.”

  “How long has it been since you've seen each other?”

  I give him a look, because he knows, maybe not the exact date, but the last time Ryan was in town. It was when Trey ‘showed up’ at the same place.

  This conversation is getting us nowhere, so I try to change the subject. “So about the photographer, I think it your clients would really like it.”

  I take a sip of my water and raise my brow, challenging him to let the conversation move on. He gives me a lopsided grin and nods, lifting his glass to concede. “Alright, you win.”

  I return his smile because at least now we can finish our lunch by discussing things we actually need to take care of for his party.

  CHAPTER 18

  Another weekend, another excuse why he can’t come to town. Ryan has been so busy that it’s been almost five weeks since I’ve seen him. I was supposed to fly out to California two weeks ago, but he said that he enjoyed being home last time. He wanted to wait and come back here; that melted my heart. But when it came time for him to fly out, he had to cancel for another big project; he needed to get a head start. I was disappointed, but he promised the next week he would be able to do it. That is, until he forgot to book his flight. That time, I was so pissed; there was no room for tears.

  So this week, I was expecting it.

  Ryan: Can’t make it in this weekend. I’ll make it up to you. Promise

  Me: Okay

  It wasn’t okay, and it certainly wasn’t okay that he did it over text. Who does that?

  “Em?” Lang’s voice calls to me through the phone. “Are you still there?”

  “Yeah. I’m here.”

  “So that’s it? A text and he’s not coming out? Have you at least talked to him?”

  “No.” My answer is clipped. “I left a message. I’m so mad, I just don’t care right now.”

  “Yeah you do, otherwise you wouldn’t be pissed.”

  “Well, I can’t make him answer the phone, so what do you suggest?”

  Joss walks over to take the phone from my hands and starts talking to Langley; all I hear is her side of the call.

  “I told her to get her ass on the first flight out and do something about it. If he can’t come here, she needs to go there.”

  She nods in agreement with whatever my sister tells her and then looks at me with a smirk.

  “You’re right. That might have something to do with it.”

  “What are you two talking about? Give me the damn phone,” I say, yanking the phone from her grasp.

  “So you think she’s falling for Trey?” Lang’s voice filters through, not knowing I’m back on the phone.

  “No,” I yell, looking at Joss to make sure she hears as well. “She is not falling for Trey.”

  “What are you gonna do then?” Langley asks, challenging me to make a move.

  “I’m going out there,” I declare, righting my posture and looking at Joss for support. “Y’all are right, I need to see him.”

  “Good. Hang up and call him to let him know,” Lang commands me.

  “No, I want to surprise him,” I assert, causing Joss’ eyebrows to raise in question.

  “You just said he’s working on a big project, give the man a head’s up,” Joss pleads, watching me debate my next move.

  “Girls, it’ll be fine. I’ll book a flight and I have a ke
y to his place, so I'll just wait for him there.”

  Neither of them says another word, and I’m grateful for that. I know showing up unannounced is absurd, but the last thing I want is to let him know, and there be yet another reason we have to reschedule. If I show up, he’ll be forced to make time for me and we’ll have to work through this awkwardness.

  * * *

  I talked to Ryan last night, and he had asked if I had plans for the weekend. I told him that I might go out with Joss, but it was a busy week and I just wanted to stay in. Joss dropped me off at the airport this morning, and after finally getting through security, all I had was time. Between Ryan’s job and mine, we have no time for each other. But if we want this to work, we have to make time. And I want this to work. Buying a ticket last minute was expensive, but I’m willing to do anything to get to Ryan and get us back on track.

  As much as I enjoy working with Trey, I don’t like how he is always on my mind. When I’m at work, I can’t stop thinking about him because it’s my job. But at home, I can’t stop thinking about how he makes me laugh or the way he looks at me, or how considerate he is. These are the things that Ryan is supposed to be doing, and the longer we go without seeing each other, the harder it is to ignore the distance between us. I’m not looking to replace him, but somehow, Trey is starting to fill the empty space, and I don’t like that at all.

  The flight was a nightmare, some kid was screaming in the back of the plane, and even my headphones didn’t drown out the noise enough. The book I was planning to read didn’t keep my attention, so I was left with nothing but my thoughts. Thoughts that consisted of Ryan, and how this weekend would play out. In my head, Ryan would spot me and give me a heart-stopping smile before grabbing me and kissing me like he’s never kissed me before. He would lift me in his arms and sweep me off to the bedroom to make love to me; all would be right with the world.

  But that isn’t how it played out.

  The plane landed at two o’clock, and I didn’t want to be stuck waiting for hours with nothing to do, so I hailed a cab and had it drop me off at his office. The receptionist was an older woman, her nameplate reading, Virginia Hall. She was a petite woman with graying hair, and she made me feel relaxed. Ms. Hall handed me a clipboard to sign-in as a guest and when she finally spoke, a broad smile appeared and her voice was kind. “Ryan’s told me so much about you.”